Once there was a family That lived close to forest.One day Early in the morning they went For a jog in the forest. the forest was beautiful their Was 2 people name George and jack.
But one of them got his foot on bear trap he was excruciating on the sorf leaves he Screamed”help help”.
Then the boy Grabbed a sick and open the bear trap it Really Hart.then they went hostip.
I like that you have used paragraphs, but where is your detail and powerful words? You can do better than this Timote! 'the forest was beautiful' - why was it beautiful? what made it beautiful? what did it sound like? smell like? feel like?.
ReplyDeleteTry to add more detail in your next story.